the Essentials

One quotation from Antoine de Saint-Exupery's "The Little Prince" has stuck with me since childhood:
"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly;
what is essential is invisible to the eye."
(hmm...an unusual quotation for a photographer to love...perhaps much of photography is a Quixote-like quest to make the essential visible...)


At any rate, David and I asked two graduate school friends to read this passage at our own wedding 11 years ago, and I remembered these words during Niki & J.P.'s wedding in San Diego (yeah...looks a bit like the Lake of the Ozarks doesn't it? But really, it's the PACIFIC OCEAN!). In lieu of flowers, wedding cake and various other seemingly essential wedding day trappings, Niki & J.P. focused on the true essentials: a location that inspired them, a meaningful ceremony led by J.P.'s father, an intimate experience for themselves and loved ones.

There were so MANY times in working with Niki & J.P. that I found myself thinking, "man, have they got their PRIORITIES straight!" Like when they first explained how they wanted simply to walk with friends & family across the beach to the water's edge to be married (no chairs, no aisle). Or when Niki trucked up the hill in gold lame' high heels, wind beating at her wedding dress and hair, to the Old Point Loma Lighthouse to see J.P. for the first time on their wedding day. Or when Niki refused to be married without her grandmother's handkerchief; it was located finally, and Niki held it -- unfolded and untucked -- during the entire ceremony.

It's the first wedding I've photographed barefoot (along with the bride & groom). So kick off YOUR shoes and come take a peek at their wedding day:

Niki & J.P.'s Album

Also, what a huge help David (who doubles more often as my husband) was! He's assisted me at a handful of weddings, and he is a most excellent travel companion (which is shorthand for: he's great with maps & directions AND he loves a quest for good local food). These two traits led us straight to El Indio, a San Diego landmark-of-a-restaurant that catered Niki & J.P.'s "rehearsal dinner" Friday evening.

After hearing J.P.'s mom rave about the restaurant, and after having spent 3 years living in Santa Fe in the mid-90's, we decided we needed a dose of real Mexican food, and OH YEAH! It's worth a trip to San Diego just to eat here:

El Indio Restaurant

And since everyone loves a picture of themselves eating...(hee hee, perhaps the only thing more risky than being married to a writer is being married to a photographer who blogs)...here's David enjoying El Indio's scrumptious food.

On another note, Amy and I now have officially shot weddings coast-to-coast, from Washington D.C. to San Diego, California, along with several points in between, including Chicago, Las Vegas, Oklahoma, Kansas & of course, Missouri! It feels like the best of all worlds...getting to work close to home and family as well as adventuring beyond every now & then.

Sweet journeys,
~kim

p.s. Check back in October for more images from Niki & J.P.'s reception to be held in Columbia, MO at Stephens College's brand new & absolutely lovely Kimball Ballroom in Lela Raney Wood Hall.

Grandpa Frank:

Frank Enderle ~ June 1988

Of all the pictures I've created, this remains one of my favorite.

I'd just finished my junior year of high school and was leaving in a few days to spend the rest of the summer in Denmark. (That summer I was a Y.F.U. summer exchange student; coincidently, though I wouldn't meet her for another 15 years, so was Kim.)

My thoughts the evening I created this image of my grandpa were simply about walking around & making pictures of stuff I loved and stuff I might miss, and stuff I just wanted to share with my host family. This seemed the right place to start.

I grew up within a mile or so of Grandma Jane & Grandpa Frank, my dad's parents.
Lots and lots of sleepovers & projects & mild-parental-rule-breaking [like drinking as much ice-cold Coca-Cola, from glass bottles mind you, as our heart's desired.]
At home there were rules. At Gramma & Grampa's...just love. Lots of love. Lots of laughts. LOTS of stopping in.

My mom's told the story many times of 3-year-old me making it quite a ways down our lane on my tricycle 'cause I was "going to live" with Grandma Jane & Grandpa Frank.
What could be better than life at a grandparent's house?!

The evening I took this photo, Grandpa Frank, as he was so many evenings, was down the hill from his house, piddling around at the pond. Truth be told, am not really sure what he DID much of the time he was down there [nor was Grandma Jane for that matter. SHE always seemed to be in the midst of a home or garden project or getting out, preparing, or putting away food.]

But for Grandpa, time moved a bit slower. There were fish to feed or fish to catch and grass to mow, maybe a turtle to find, or a dock to fix. Maybe the little shed needed to be tidied up. Lots of walking around the bank, just making sure everything was in order, I s'pose.

Oh, yeah, and grandkids to spend time with.

That's probably what he did more than anything, made time for the grandkids or neighbors or old friends who would stop by for a chat when they saw him down by the water. The pond was in clear view of the blacktop. And that road, "J", was pretty much the main artery 'round those parts: nearly everyone we knew needed to take that road to come or go where they were coming or going, at at least one point throughout the day. So there was lots of stopping-to-talk.

You could see the pond from nearly every back window of the house, too. So you were never really alone down there, just alone-in-your-head. It was a place in the world to call one's own.

This was where Grandpa Frank was most at home.
And this picture is EXACTLY as I'll always remember him.

There's a blessing that makes its way into many of the wedding ceremonies we document that includes phrases that unfold something like:
"...for divine assistance at every moment,
the constant support of friends,
the rich blessing of children,
a warm love reaching out to others,
and good health until a ripe old age, let us pray to the Lord."

When I hear those words, I think of Grandma Jane & Grandpa Frank ~ everytime.
They lived to their 90s and for the first 85 years or so were in pretty impressive health.
Grandma & Grandpa were married 67 years, and argued like brother-and-sister for nearly all of them.
They were a joy & a delight . . . and oh, how they loved us!

With happiness, but a bit of sadness, too ~ amy

f u g u e

fugue: NOUN. etymology: from Latin, flight
1. musical composition with repeating themes, [or, more colorfully:]
2. a disturbed state of consciousness in which the one affected seems to perform acts in full awareness but upon recovery cannot recollect the acts performed

It dawned on me last night as I was walking into Columbia's Blue Fugue to hear Sometimes Three play (www.sometimesthree.com) that I had absolutely no idea what FUGUE meant.
So I asked around.
Whew! the collective imagination (and persuasive lies) of friends & strangers.
No one was more convincing with their definition than Josh, [S]3 guitarist, who started to explain, in great detail, the characteristics of The Fugue as a winged mythical creature.
I was totally buying it.
Till Parker interrupted saying "you're making this up." Does it mark me a geek that I came home & looked it up? -- now wait a minute, just used the online dictionary as I glanced thru email....hmmm, that doesn't discount it, does it??

Regardless of whether or not YOU know [knew!?] the meaning of FUGUE, they sounded great AND you can now find Sometimes Three on iTunes.

Kim and I DIDN'T bring cameras, and then I felt guilty, but look, LOOK, I took these pictures WITH MY PHONE & thanks to BlueTooth sucked it right into the Mac without a corded connection in sight.

Still giddy about that!

[okay, okay....perhaps a geek in a charming, fun-to-be-around sort of way??] ~ amy

P.S. an after-thought EDIT:
...you know, maybe it was Mike, [S]3 drummer who spoke of winged mythical creatures....
Come on, they all [re: good-looking & talented musicans] look alike!?
Or was it that last cosmo with the cucumber creating the haze? Cucumber? ~ am SURE I'm not mistaken about that one, were they out of limes or is it like a signture statement. hmmm....

you're INVITED!

so much to update, but haven't quite found the time ....
most recently, Kim's been in San Diego shooting a wedding and ohh, ahh, I can't wait to see those images.

I've been away and with family of late...first a fun out-of-town trip then, not so fun.
Grandpa Frank passed away. He lived to be 93 and for the vast vast majority of those years was surrounded by good friends.
Times like these are still hard. That emotionally-draining stuff.
He and Grandma Jane were the best grandparents any kid could ever, ever hope for.
Paul & I got married in their yard.
Will try to put my favorite Grandpa Frank picture up later this afternoon.

Thus, as for the SilverBox duo, we're kind of tired.
We PROMISE more wedding updates coming soon...Kim and I are both a bit behind but have such neat stuff to share.

For the meantime, how cool is this?:
SOMETIMES THREE plays in COLUMBIA tomorrow night.
They're great! AND they're going to be HERE!
background: Amy's brother-in-law Parker is not only a heck of a nice guy and great dad to my nephews Max and Zane, he's a totally talented bass player.
CAN YOU COME OUT?
They are one of three bands playing at The Blue Fugue.
I'll be there around nine and am grabbing Kim to come along.
Paul is in Nashville this week at a conference so you can't see him, but you can hang with us AND hear great music.
YES! come out if you can. We'd LOVE to see you there!

First round of drinks on Kim [ha-haa, just seeing how quickly she reads this]
~amy

could it be "in the water" ?

Jessica & Jamey, July 15, 2006, Boonville, Missouri:
This little town of Boonville [pop. 8000] is about half an hour outside of Columbia and let me just say that the POSITIVE perspective of the people whose lives I've documented from there has been downright inspiring.

1st this example I shared with my friend Tracy Crowe (originally of Boonville, 2005 SilverBox bride & Reader in Jessica & Jamey's July 15th wedding) a few days after J&J's celebration:

Jamey gets in the limo, takes Jessica’s hand & says:
"hasn't this just been a PERFECT day"
Jessica replies with complete sincerity: "absolutely perfect"

BUT HERE'S THE DEAL...[coming from someone who's documented 100 or so weddings] 
There are always things, often lots of little things, that DON’T go according to plan. Whether or not one’s wedding day seems “perfect” has very little to do with how closely the day's reality matches The Plan and everything to do with one's own outlook.

[Hypothetical] brides are sometimes so distraught over the flowers not looking a thing like they envisioned, for example...that it's hard for them to see the beauty of the very bouquet they're holding.

 With Jessica & Jamey, it was just the opposite....they were so darned determined to BE HAPPY & DELIGHT IN THEIR CELEBRATION that no inconvenience, no hiccup, no deviation from The Plan even got a second glance. [See their WEDDING DAY SLIDESHOW
to share in their delight.]

And there WAS stuff…
there is ALWAYS potentially disappointing stuff. It was 104 degrees out for example. I could make a list of things they could have chosen to be frustrated or saddened about….but why would I? They truly regard the day as PERFECT, and therefore, it was. It really was.

Come to think of it...same thing could be said for each of my other Boonville couples: Mike & Tracy Crowe (June 2005) and Jason & Kelly Lawless (Dec 2005) ~ who weren’t even phased by the fact that b/c of a sometimes less-than-flexible-military-schedule, Jason wasn't able to attend his own rehearsal. Wow. Justin & Becky Farmer (June 2003?) and James & Marcia Fuemmeler (2002??) ~ "Jimmy" Fuemmeler according to Justin. Nearly half of their wedding party & guests arrived day-of James & Marcia's wedding it seemed...again, a military thing...most of them had met in Annapolis at the Naval Academy.
I don't recall exactly how I became connected with this group of people but I'm continually thanking my lucky stars to know this crowd.

Sure seems that this determined OPTIMISM and HAPPY OUTLOOK is true for each of the 5 Boonville-esque weddings AND the family sessions I've shot on-location at the river's edge. Each of these couples and their families have been not only people who see & celebrate the positive, they have a quiet way of inspiring those around them to do the same.

It’s the opposite of the “one bad apple” idiom. The collective response to the positive perspective is MORE positive energy & perspective. What’s the idiom for that? (REALLY, email in, there MUST be one, right? and it's not a rose-colored glasses thing, it's about the IMPACT they have on those around them. Hmmm. ) Perhaps very unlike magnets, positive people attract positive people -- the result: amazing.

So when I received word of what Jamey wrote to Pictage, I was even more touched (confession: moved to tears actually.) An excerpt:

"I highly recommend Amy… [now she's like] an old friend… has done such a good job at getting to know us… I was kind of stressed and emailed her right before the wedding asking her some questions and the email back was HAPPY WEDDING WEEK....then the rest. This reply caught me off guard and really set the tone to a great weekend ahead. I've probably said enough but the wedding day was even better. I pulled up to the church in the heat of the day and she was close to the first person I saw (already taking pictures...of me and the boys)…So am I a fan?, you betcha. If you want a hard working person who takes amazing pictures and knows how to have fun and relax you in the process, use Amy. I've witnessed first hand at least 3-4 weddings Amy has done, and our friends all have the same kinds of stories. Sincerely, Jamey Freels 7/15/06"

girl stuff . . .

Was able to get together for some girl time this past weekend at a quiet little resort in Innsbrook, Missouri [about 45 minutes from the St. Louis airport.] We giggled about our college days, shared stories & dilemmas, went for a walk along the nature trail & swam in the lake. Pictured here: the dock we could see from our condo's window. Innsbrook is a real gem...Tracey who had one of the most unique and fabulous weddings I've ever attended or photographed said, "Oh, I wish Mark & I would have considered getting married HERE." Now THAT'S a compliment!!

Brenda, my favorite roommate ever!, traveled from Tampa, Florida. Andrea made the trip from San Antonio, Texas sort of . . . she & daughters are spending the summer in Lansing, Michigan while husband Mike is serving as a hospital doc. in Iraq. I can't even imagine. Jena & Tracey who both live & work in the Washington DC area flew in on the same flight. A glowing Ann, whose NEW BABY will be here before the leaves change, lives in St. Louis and identified Innsbrooke as the reunion locale. It was a winner!


It was a little less than 2 days together but so sooo good to re-connect. Our lives and to some degree, perspectives have changed but what remains the same is how lucky I feel to be in the company of these women. From right: Tracey, Jena, Brenda, me, Andrea & Ann.
Ronzas remain the Best Reunion Food on the planet. A big thanks to Brooke of Originals Paper Art [whose studio is located in Kirksville, home not only of our alma mattter: Truman State, but Pagliai's Pizza, the REAL Ronza Makers] for combining food delivery with personal delivery of a few Originals Box Sets. [Last Minute Blog Addition...GASP! who knew Pagliai's was a franchise??, here's the www scoop.]

BUT, back to our Originals Box Sets, I have Blaire and Ryan's OBS ready for delivery. Ryan and Blaire were married in JUNE, and though I'm sad about it, I'm now realizing I may not have even jotted down an entry about their amazing wedding. Sorry for being so very inconsistent. It seems what makes it to the Silver Lining vs. what remains clouded in other thoughts has more to do with time to breathe than anything else.

BUT, even though it means skipping way out of line, I feel the desire to relay this thought in the here and now:
When I came back from the fun-filled Innsbrook reunion, I created engagement portraits of Tim & Lynn who live & work in Kenya, but were back in the States for a friend's wedding and to do a little wedding planning of their own.
Lynn has been in Africa 7 or 8 months and Tim has lived and worked in Africa for several years. In commenting on life-lessons-learned of late, Lynn explained that she works with people on a daily basis who have experienced sadness and hardship to the extent that most of us will never know, yet these same people lead joy-filled & joyful lives. Happy and joyful for all that they have rather than sad or longing for that which they don't.

That's silver lining of the purest kind.
Those words and that life-approach will be in my head for a long long time.
Hoping all is well in your world ~ amy